its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
