somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
