Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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