is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
