walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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