Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
