before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
