there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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