can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
