Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
