The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
