Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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