Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We are all done wearing pants today
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
