ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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