i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize