the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
you made out with another girl for some wings
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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