What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
