Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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