No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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