did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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