I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
