drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
