He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
handjob tips. give me some.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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