let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
