I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
