At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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