As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
