The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
