my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
