is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
