Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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