Whoa Z and x make the same sound
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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