Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
