Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
