I want to have your abortion
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
