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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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