I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
