If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
