you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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