Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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