New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
3pm strippers are depressing
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
