we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
