She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just gift wrapped bread.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
