I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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