How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize