Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize