Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
