At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
