Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
