Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
