i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
