A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
