My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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