wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
