; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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