A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
