At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
