what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
