Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
