mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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