someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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